Welcome...

Welcome...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

And to go with Kiwi's ramble-on Comics...



Come visit COMICS 101 with Professor Scott Tipton now in the Featured Links. I read this every week. The Comics Gnome didn't even know he posted on the InterPoop until he was looking to Enlighten me on the History of the JSA. No...not the JLA...the JSA, the Justice Society of America.

Maybe you're confused about the DC event INFINTE CRISIS...so read Prof. Tipton's archive from 2003 in "TOO MANY EARTHS".

Prof. Tipton's got a great love for the funnbooks and the Comic Gnome actually thought for a few days that Tipton was his Earth-Two alternate but that was retconned in the last CRISES.

Got a question...ask the Professor. It's a good read and I spend time when I'm on the computer just reading his archive because it's historically informative about events and continuity but doesn't spoil the fun of finding out for yourself by reading them. And hats off to him for he's being published in his own funnybook...and I know I'm a Buffy fan so I just might have to pick it up. Go read COMICS 101 to find out...that's the fun in it all and Titpon really knows his stuff. it's history and backstory...the tools we need to enjoy the tapestry of serialized superhero stories. And he's wickid friendly.

'Namaste,

Rev. Sully
A kitten? Sheeesh. Sorry to hear about that Matt. Cats...yuk! S'why I jerk off every day, Mein Herr...

We got a kitten a few weeks back, and Named him Kesuke Meowgi ('Sook' for short). Yesterday, he demonstrated that he's discovered the ability to teleport... or at least the ability to move his entire body faster than our eyes can track the motion. Maybe we should have named him Wally West.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Comics...

It is becoming a habit. One that I have no power over like biting your nails when your nervous or picking the scab, even when you know you're gonna make it bleed again. Well, OK some of us have more self control than others. *sigh* The drawing, the colour, the storytelling. I blame Sully, and with every right. Without him giving me the 'Dark Knight' that winter night many moons ago I would still be none the wiser.

So Sully - and to anyone else who's listening...

The "OMAC project" is the necassary pre-cursur to you reading the Infinite Crisis Series currently unfolding on the Bodega shelves. It certainly filled a number of gaps for me.
Here we see that Batman's paranoia has finally gotten the better of him ~ he as a result creates an all seeing 'eye' to track and monitor our dear 'superheroes', so that he can never be betrayed again. (for explaination to that see 'Identity Crisis'). Unfortunately it falls into the wrong hands and all chaos ensues. DC has recently released the TBP of this comic and it is highly recommended.

Secondly,

...the Batman/Superman series TBP volume #2 reintroduces "Supergirl". A hero of old who was killed in the 1986 'Crisis' ~ now she returnes 'for the first time'. This goes out to all you 'boys' out there... Turner can draw the female figure like no other (though he is a little biased and unrealistic ~ but that's what comics are good for right?)

Right ~ stick a fork in me...

xo
Man, it gets chilly underwater when you discover a pin-hole leak is letting a slow trickle of 38 degree seawater into your dry suit. I guess I'll have to fix that when it dries out.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

THE SMOKING PUCK!

January 26, 2006

By Rev. Sully

A Quick Note to those Who Smell the Ice


ya know...I'm content to watch it play out right now. There's nothing to talk about right now in Hockey. Actually...PLENTY! Retirements, winning games, points away from "the Playoff Eight", who's good, who's gotta go, who's in Net tonight?

It's too early to get hopes or even have them dashed. All I know is that the Bruins have been playing great hockey and the motivation could be that their starting goaltenders are both injured putting the onus back on the anus of the front five. It's really interesting to see this turn around. Key people are out and have been out.
http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/teams/bos/injuries
Read it yourself...it's updated daily and without these players the Bruins have crawled from their Texas Funeral into the air and possible...back in contention.

The Half Way Point is passed and the only changes for the Bruins have been good ones. There was only one direction to go when you're the team in last place and that way is Up & Forward. They are no longer playing well into the second period and then losing the game at the end. The Bruins are a better team...it goes to show with who is on the Injured List and Why are the Bruins excelling at this point.

Leaves more questions than answers...insert the X-Files theme here...do Dooo do doo dooo dooo...bubba ba bah!

I'll have more later with names and stats but just know this: watch the Game. It is fun and the Bruins are playing better. And remember not to spit at Rangers fans anymore but that is a tale for a different day...

'Namaste,
Rev. Sully

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

According the calculator approximately 8489 days.

I currently live in Londonderry, NH and work in Cambridge, MA. So, let's see......if I stay in the same house and the same office until I retire...it is 98 miles a day round trip...multiply that by 8489 and that comes to approx. 831,922 miles based on those figures.

Let's say for ease of calculating that my trip takes one hour (yeah right...not on I-93, but for argument's sake...) OK, so 8489 days = 16,978 round trips each taking 1 hour. That translates into 707.42 days or 1.938128 years!! (Just days shy of two years!)

I guess that is a good argument my wife could use to convince me to move closer to Boston!
Sure, but that's only like 8,300 actual work days.
Actually if I retire on my 65th birthday have 11,885 days until I retire!!


http://www.onlineconversion.com/days_until_retire.htm



Lol...


But seriously, I think that Lemieux is done for good.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Mario retired again today... do you think this is it, or is he going for the hat trick?
My buddy Gary and I went up to Rockport on sunday to take advantage of the beautiful day and do some relaxed shore diving in anticipation of getting his relatively new gear "dialed in" (by which we mean adjusting the quantity and position of his weights to achieve neutral bouyancy and horizontal trim) for some wreck diving once the charter boats start running again. Saturday night brough in gale force winds and 6 foot seas, and since we had afternoon obligations we had to get up early and dive at low tide. We expected lousy conditions and visibility reduced to near-zero by the stirred up sediment, but when we arrived we were suprised to see the water was glassy calm and about ten other divers already were gearing up, a couple of whome reported that they had 30' visibility on their first dive. That's about twice what we usually get, so combined with the sunny day it made for a tremendously enjoyable morning. On top of that, the 30 lbs I lost in the past few months made it very easy to get in and out of my drysuit, and I had almost none of the flexibility problems the tight fit had caused before.

The surface temperature was only 42 degrees, but that's good for this time of year, and since I was dressed for the occasion I hardly noticed the cold. I'm going again as soon as I can find a few hours to spare... winter diving in New England was a lot more fun than I'd expected.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Man... you cut your fingertip off and didn't call me? I could have played "Look what I found in my chili", and we'd both be sippin' rum drinks on the beach right now. ;)

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

So check this one out...

I actually cut my finger off. Yeah. Avulsion.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/avulsion

I owed some money to a Yakuza and had to set it straight...

But really...I do a lot of mis en place where I work.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mis_en_place

I have to make a lot of mirepoix...everyday...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirepoix_%28cuisine%29

Well...it was new Knife day. My prefered blade is a long, deep Chef's Knife. 12"long with a wide blade. Good weight and plenty of clearance for the knuckles. So I was chatting it up and cutting onions. Actually talking about "Onion Eyes". I chop about 50 lbs of white onions on a busy day...there has to be a combination of savvy, awareness, skill, concentration and muscle memory involved in fast cutting. Well wouldn'tcha know it I feel a painless tug...and then I noticed I had chopped off the tip of my left index finger. To the right of the nail's median and on an angle to avoid any bone loss. It got a chunk of nail. I can still see the tip itself resting on the big silver blade. It took a few seconds for the wound to realize it was time to bleed but it came a rushin'...another use for cheesecloth I think we found.
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/cheesecloth


I was attended to at the Hospital...I realized it was my first emergency room trip in over three years. I used to go all the time due to my asthma. The tip was chemically cauterized with mesh of Silver Nitrate.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_nitrate

And what did I do...I went back to work and finished my shift. I worked for about three more hours. My shift that day was 12PM-10PM...I was at the hospital at 2:30PM and was back at the restaurant by 5PM. I also didn't miss my shift the next day. The day of the wound though, I had so much lidocane in the finger I couldn't feel anything. So why not work. I was also given a week's worth of Vicodans. That in itself was a week off but having to show up.

It's grown back, mostly. It's been one month this week. The Human Body is an amazing machine. The new fingertip is so soft...baby soft and sensitive to pain. The only thing really funny about how it looks; the nail appears that it was cut too short...way too short.

What a funny experience so remember...respect your knives. I use a very sharp knife every workday. I've seen seasoned chefs give themselves grevious finger & hand wounds and reel from the pain, blood & inconvenience. I felt like it made me a "real" chef in a way. We all got bad cut stories. We all got terrible burn stories.

Respect your knives, samurai.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Laura looked so good after trying Weight Watchers that I thought I'd give it a shot... ten weeks and 30 lbs later, I'm halfway back to the athletic self I felt like four years ago! I feel (and look) much better, but I went to a wedding last weekend and had to spend nearly $70 on alterations to get my suit to fit right.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

NEW YORK - Due to "an acute vocal chord problem" afflicting singer-guitarist Jack White, the White Stripes have postponed scheduled tour dates in Japan.

The White Stripes were to play four concerts beginning Thursday in Tokyo and ending Monday in Nagoya, Japan.

"As part of his treatment, the doctors have instructed Jack not to speak or sing for the next two weeks," a recent message on the band's Web site read. "We sincerely apologize to our Japanese fans and friends and hope to reschedule dates as soon as we can."

The White Stripes will resume their tour Jan. 20 at the Big Day Out Festival in Auckland, New Zealand. They continue with five concerts in Australia, also with the festival.

White fronts the garage rock duo from Detroit with Meg White. The Stripes are currently nominated for a Grammy for best performance by a duo or group with vocals for their single "My Doorbell."

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Nearly 100, LSD's Father Ponders His 'Problem Child' - New York Times
"LSD spoke to me. He came to me and said, 'You must find me.' He told me, 'Don’t give me to the pharmacologist.'"
- ALBERT HOFMANN

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

THE SMOKING PUCK!

January 4, 2006
By Rev. Sully

La Plus La Meme Change, La Plus La Meme Chose...
aka: What constitutes a Minor Penalty and a Game Misconduct in Real-Life?


First off...Happy New Year. I have New Year’s Resolutions but I might not have the resolve to pull it off. One of the resolutions is to get limber enough to be playing street or roller hockey by the springtime. My goalie equipment is nothing at this point but a dust sponge but I digress...

This is a Public Service Announcement...With Guitar!!! Know your Rights!

This is a Smoking PUCK rant. We could bandy about the fact that as of this writing, Sergei Samsonov needs 4 points to tie Joe Thornton for the team lead. Jumbo Joe was traded away one month ago. Think about that for a spell and then we’ll talk about the Bruins next week if they get out of last place. But it might be mathematically impossible to get out of last place by next week...

I’m just going to ramble-on, Sully-Style on Life and its Rules. Are there rules to life? Sure there are. Social contracts, personal constructs, manager/worker expectation, et al. Just look to the ice and see what is permissible and what is not by what NHL referees call for infractions.

Don’t elbow people.



It’s just bad to do. Nothing good comes to you or them when you bash the opponent’s head with a sturdy & malintended elbow. Is “malintended” a real word? It should be. Intent is the most precious thing when making choices. All we are is the sum of our actions and Karma is awarded with intention...for those who believe that hokey hooey. There are those who believe in Ritual Cannibalism and have Eschatological Goals. There are those who believe in 48 Virgins in the afterlife so what really is nonsense, huh? So please kids...head’s up, sticks down and keep your elbows in. Elbowing is just dirty.


Know the difference when to call a Minor penalty from a Major and even a Match penalty.

Respectively, knowing when to call a two-minute, a five-minute and all-game penalty. I know this feeling. You do feel shame, then you get free. I was playing street hockey when I was a kid in a neighborhood tournament. I was stuck back on defense, years before an on-ice epiphany made me into a goaltender. I committed a stupid penalty. The whistle blew and I had to hop over the fence to serve my time. My team was scored upon during my Penalty and I have very few moments in my life when I have felt lower. And I’m talking about mercilessly dumping girlfriends, petty vengeances and the such, I mean regret, real personal regret...I felt “bad” for getting that penalty. I wonder if Marty Lapointe feels that way to this day even in Chicago. Hmmmmmm???... Things happen. Some are accidents. Some are intentional. And some are just downright mean.


Downright mean and intentional. Get it?

Infractions are a part of life unfortunately...it’s up to us how to whistle the penalties and how much time the offender serves in the Sin Bin.


And if at possible, shake hands after the game. I don’t know why every game ends with the handshake. We make the kids do it...why not the Pros if they really are the influential idols modern Sports Culture espouses athletes to be. When a playoff round is settled in the National Hockey League, the Pros will line up and shake hands but why not every game. You know...for Sportsmanship? There is a British tradition of shaking hands post-game. Canada is heavy on its British roots too. Here’s an old article talking about the NHL Post-Playoff handshake with a few words from NHL Players themselves.


Maybe mankind should replace policemen with Referees? Then there would be peace & order in the world. That’s just silly...or is it? Would that bring back Instant Replay, you think? Hmmmmmmmmmmm???...


'Namaste,

Rev. Sully

Come visit Channel Ocho for more PUCK.
The Smoking Puck is featured at the Boston Sports Massacre. The “BSM” is a Boston-based weekly Sports PodCast.
The PUCK is also now available at Philly Keith Dot Com. Great, independent Hockey talk from the City of Brotherly Love now with a Beantown Boy chiming in.

All Statistic used in this Smoking PUCK are courtesy of NHL Dot Com’s Statistics page. In the words of Intrepid Peter, “RTFM”.
Happy New Years, Guys!!!

Welcome home, Matt!!! Happy X-Mas, Kiwi. Merry Epiphany, Meathead.

The Comics Gnome will poot forth more later on this Publication seeing it was one of the mainstays of my formative years...MAD MAGAZINE.


What me, worry?

This publication of poor taste, crude humor, bad puns and great comics-style pop culture parody is my personal esoteric Rosetta Stone. My Mother would roll her eyes when she had to dole out the dollar for the oversized magazine that would make me ape the stupidest things until the new issue a month later when I was much younger. I'll still ape the stoopidest things still but I digress...

So in the Spirit of Stooopidity...and with the New Year here...I give you...

'Namaste,
Rev. Sully


THE COMPLETE LIST OF MAD Magazine's 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2005:

1. Hurricane Katrina: The Bush League Response
Shattering his old record for totally ignoring a national disaster (8 minutes of slacking following the 9/11 attacks), President Bush set a new standard this year for utter cluelessness. As Katrina grew to a class five hurricane and smashed the Gulf Coast, leaving New Orleans underwater and thousands stranded and suffering, Dubya spent his time clearing brush, presenting a birthday cake to John McCain, strumming a guitar at a GOP fundraiser, and sleeping. By the time he apologized to the nation two weeks later, it was painfully clear that the President had a lot in common with the citizens of New Orleans: he, too, was in way over his head.

2. Tom Cruise: From Pretty Boy To "Hoo Boy!"
As a Scientologist, Tom Cruise believes that all human suffering is caused by the galactic tyrant Xenu, who stacked billions of alien ghosts in volcanoes 75,000,000 years ago and then blew them up with his H-bombs. To us that sounds completely plausible, especially when compared to Tom's recent super crazy rants against psychotherapy and his wide-eyed, maniacal declarations of love for Katie Holmes. (Note to Katie: Get out now!) Damn that Xenu for making us all suffer through Cruise's weird, pathetic meltdown.

3. There Goes The Bride: Jennifer Wilbanks Says "Adieu"
Here comes the bride, all dressed in...whoops, not so fast! Just days before her upcoming nuptials, spooked bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks faked being kidnapped by a "Hispanic man" to avoid tying the knot. After an entire police force and 150 volunteers spent days looking for her to the tune of $60,000, she admitted that the story of her abduction on the eve of marriage was even phonier than the story of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's happy marriage. But still, the most troubling and highly disturbing aspect of the whole story? Her freaky-assed bug-eyes!

4. Russell Crowe's Telephone Tantrum: Dial "M" For Moron
Russell Crowe may not get a Best Actor Oscar nomination for Cinderella Man, but if there was a category for Best Real Life Temper Tantrum Thrown By a Pampered, Spoiled Multi-Millionaire Crybaby, then he'd be a sure-fire winner. The only performance of Crowe's that anyone paid any attention to this year was his caveman-like hotel lobby hissy fit during which he chucked a malfunctioning telephone at the head of a hapless desk clerk. All we can say is it's a good thing Russell wasn't having any problems with his toilet.

5. Karl Rove: A Man For All Treasons
There's an old saying that goes, if you piss in the wind enough, sooner or later it's bound to come back and hit you in the face. And so it was with White House advisor and political smear-meister, Karl Rove. When Rove heard that former diplomat Robert Wilson was issuing a report debunking the Bush administration's main reason for invading Iraq, and unable to refute Wilson with the facts, Karl did the only thing he could do: attack Wilson by secretly leaking to the press that his wife, Valerie Plame, was an undercover CIA agent. There were two problems with Karl's plan: 1) It's against the law, and 2) He got caught. Next thing Karl knew, he was in front of a federal grand jury probing his verbal incontinence. Bad boy, Karl. Bad boy!


6. Prince Harry: Not Knowing Reich From Wrong
Nearly a year after it happened, we're still trying to figure out why in Himmler's name Britain's Prince Harry thought it was a jolly good idea to attend a costume party dressed in full Nazi regalia. As part of a family that says it doesn't want to attract undue attention, parading around with a Swastika armband isn't exactly the way to go unnoticed. Note to His Highness: Next time you get a hankering for dressing up as a Nazi, play it safe and go as the Soup Nazi. Unlike you, he's funny.

7. Dave Chapelle: Must Flee TV
Everyone handles success differently. Some immediately embrace it, some slowly adapt to it and others panic, crap their pants and haul ass to South Africa. Just after signing a record-breaking $50 million contract with Comedy Central, guess which category Dave Chappelle fell into? Even though his impersonations of Lil John, Rick James and Prince made him a star, Dave is now most famous for a baffling new impression: Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks.

8. Pat Robertson: Hitman Of The Cloth
Pat Roberston has long been respected and admired as a leading authority on sanctimonious, pea-brained, hateful ideas. This year, however, the Reverend's disturbing slide into advanced dementia reached a new low point when he called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. We're not Biblical scholars, but we missed the part in the Good Book where Jesus advocates killing. Perhaps Robertson's Bible includes The Gospel According To Jack (Ruby). We'd take issue with Pat more fervently, but honestly, we wouldn't want him to put a hit out on us, too.

9. Scam Artist Gives Wendy's The Finger
It was a fast food scam so stupid, it made the Hamburglar look like a criminal mastermind. Anna Ayala thought she had cooked up the perfect swindle — plant a severed digit in her Wendy's chili and just wait for that easy lawsuit money to come rolling in! Only one problem: for some crazy reason, Wendy's wanted to figure out exactly how "Chili con Fingertip" ended up on their menu. It didn't take much investigating before Ayala's Biggie lies were exposed and she and her husband were arrested — but not before her stunt cost Wendy's millions of bucks in lost business. Amazingly, in a story that involved a woman almost eating a severed human finger, Ayala's greedy, dumbass behavior managed to stand out as the most disgusting part.

10. Rafael Palmeiro Testifies Negative, Tests Positive
When people say an athlete's had quite a year, they're usually referring to his on-the-field heroics. Not so with mustachioed, unnaturally tanned baseball star Rafael Palmeiro.

After waving his finger in Clinton-esque fashion in front of Congress and testifying that he'd never used steroids, Rafy tested positive. Ever defiant, he then claimed that he never "intentionally" used steroids. But soon it was revealed that the heavy-duty 'roid he tested positive for is never found in tainted supplements, so he went to his next lame defense and blamed a teammate for giving him a tainted vitamin injection. Not long ago Palmeiro was hired to pitch Viagra to people who had trouble keeping it up. A good choice, because when it comes to dishing out the heavy BS, Rafy can keep it up forever.

11. The Terry Schiavo Circus
When a living creature perishes, eventually disgusting maggots appear to feed on its dead flesh. In the case of Terry Schiavo, the maggots — the self-righteous politicians, sanctimonious preachers, cable news talking heads and partisan grandstanders — actually fed on poor Terry while she was still alive. Upon hearing of this personal family tragedy, they quickly seized the opportunity to push forth their own selfish agendas. And an entire nation watched as these lowlife freaks whipped themselves — and the public — into a feeding frenzy. If only we could have disconnected the feeding tube on those bastards.


12. Michael Jackson's Touching Tale
Even after being acquitted on his latest round of boy-touching accusations, Michael Jackson's story was as full of unexplained holes as his kabuki face. But you'd never know it, if you checked out the self-adoring celebration that erupted on his website. The King of Perv compared his "innocent" verdict to the birth of Martin Luther King, the fall of the Berlin Wall, and the release of Nelson Mandela. It's good to see Michael finally gets it.

13. Brajelina: The Lame Of Love
Like a cockroach that you step on over and over that will not die, so it is with the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie love triangle. Supermarket tabloids, TV entertainment shows and gossip websites fulfilled their brain-dead audience's insatiable desire for The juicy details...The sordid confessions...The smoldering fury! (Even when they had to make it up.) So much money has been made by the parasitic media feeding off these three people's private lives, we figure it won't be long before the ever-greedy comic book business jumps on the bottom-feeder bandwagon.

14. Teen Queens' Extreme Weight Loss: Into Thin Err
Unhappy with their images as robust, beautiful and healthy young women, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson and Nicole Ritchie decided it was time for an extreme makeover and quickly transformed themselves into sickly, walking skeletons. They probably think they look drop dead gorgeous, but to us they look more like they're just about to drop dead.

15. Saddam Photographed In Jail: The News In Briefs
We're continually being told that for America to be successful in Iraq that we have to win the "hearts and minds" of the people on the Arab street. Our first efforts got off to a somewhat shaky start. There was that whole Abu Grahib naked prisoners on dog leashes thing, followed by the accidentally dropping and flushing the Koran down the toilet several times. This year we hit the trifecta when humiliating photos of the incarcerated Saddam Hussein, wearing nothing but tightie whities, were leaked to a British tabloid. The Pentagon, of course, promised to get to the bottom of their latest "crack" in security. Meanwhile, they're suffering from yet another public relations wedgie any child could relate to.

16. Homo-Neurotic: Right-Wing Group Outs SpongeBob
Early this year, Focus On The Family founder Dr. James Dobson claimed there was a "sinister agenda" behind a children's video because it featured "pro-homosexual" cartoon characters, such as SpongeBob SquarePants, singing the 1979 Sister Sledge hit We Are Family. We can't help thinking that Dr. J has actually lost his focus on the family — isn't it much more sinister that the video is trying to revive disco music? And, given that SpongeBob works as a deep-fry cook churning out Krabby Patties, shouldn't family groups be more worried about childhood obesity? As right-wingers continue to warn us about harmful influences in the fictional world of animation, they better take a look at this utterly shocking information we've uncovered, as it is indeed cause for grave concern.

17. Paula Abdul: Judge Juicy
We always knew that Paula Abdul was super-nice to American Idol contestants, but she apparently took it to the extreme with Season 2 contestant (and all-around loser) Corey Clark. Corey claimed that the once-sexy Abdul had an affair with him while he was on the show -- and also that she secretly coached him, chose his songs, designed his new look and even paid for his wardrobe, hairstyling and cell phone. The former Laker babe was cleared of any wrongdoing by FOX . (Note: Given that FOX's new fall line-up included The War At Home, Head Cases and So You Think You Can Dance, they're clearly experts when it comes to wrong-doing!) Well, one thing's for sure: we'll never be able to look at Ruben Studdard again without wondering if maybe, just maybe...

18. Kevin Federline: From Beer to Paternity
It was April 12th when both People Magazine editors and readers spontaneously wet themselves as Britney Spears announced that she and second husband, former dancer/current bum Kevin Federline were — Oh! My! God! — expecting. While makin' babies was sure to be a new experience for Spears, it was old hat for Federline who had already fathered two kids — not even waiting around for the second one to be born before hooking up with Spears. A healthy baby boy was born on September 14 — and while Britney had cause to worry over Kevin's lack of employment, drinking, partying, gambling and forays to strip clubs, she might take comfort in the knowledge that all those lap dances he's been enjoying (and she's been paying for) are good practice for when he bounces little Sean Preston Spears Federline on his knee.

19. "INTELLIGENT DESIGN"

20. What Screws Up Must Come Down: The A-list of A-holes
Lately, when someone does something really stupid, illegal or immoral, they're "punished" with a fat book contract or their own reality TV show. But that's not always the case. Occasionally there is a God. Someone does something wrong and there are repercussions. And so it was with a bunch of notorious lowlifes this year. In one way or another, from fraud to professional ethics gaffes to racist remarks, each of these once-esteemed people screwed up and lost. Some lost their freedom. Some lost their job. Some lost whatever credibility and respect they had. But they all found at least one thing: a place among this group of unquestionable morons.