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Welcome...

Thursday, July 31, 2003

Yeah, that was CHip busting on Pearce. A fine job of it too!
As emailed by Melissa:
>Exit 62
>
>Irving Big Stop -- US Route 1 207-532-2948 -- Conv.store, restaurant, gas
>
>it is just to the left as you get off the exit, and we all need to stop for
>a fill up before we hit the traffic anyway. We are planning to leave the
>hotel around 6, which should put us there around 7:30...we should touch base
>with phones (if they work) that morning, but plan to meet there. If we could
>all try very hard to be there at 7:30, that would be super, as I know none of
>us is gonna want to wait around.....
Matty, I'll have my cell and I'm pretty sure I'll have service. Any rendez-vous plans, general meeting time/place? We're leaving tonight about 10-11PM driving straight up. Sully's got wheels! NOOOOOGE!!!
Was that Chip busting on Pierce? I read that on TOP and nearly lost my shit.
Sorry for the cross-post from another blog, but this is so good it's nearly poetry. :

"Spanks,
What a putrid putrid waste of a penis you are, you ridiculous little mascara face-painted Jerk-In-The-Box. You couldn't get a date if you bought them dried in a tin, you under-medicated, rump-ruptured chronic self-abuser. You're the kind of greasy, giggling, girly gombeen who buys STDs from a viral lab just to make it look like you get laid. Average looking, my ass. You're uglier than the south-facing end of north-bound mule with a ruptured ulcerated fly-covered rump. All left-wingers are chronic alcoholics who molest small animals, masturbate behind bushes, and wear fish-net tights while singing Elton John songs. You four-eyed, cerebrally-deluded, Einstein-impersonating, pseudo-intellectual nerdturd with a head full of misfiring synapses. Tall people are crap in bed. If you turned sideways and stuck out your tongue, people would think you're a zipper, you emaciated fuck. Professional what? Are you a professional simpleton, or simply a well meaning amateur? I love that suit you're wearing. You never throw anything away, do you? Try this maneuver: Take 50-60 paces backwards. Take several deep breaths. Sprint forward at full speed. Do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up your own asshole.
- Major Lee Fakupt"

5:30 pm tomorrow we're leaving, and going to the hotel rendezvous in Skowhegan. We're leaving from there with a group of about 20 people at 6am.

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Well...they couldn't hear me well...as I feared I was a little washed out by the other amps. My mic was not up. That sucked!!! : ^ P
Nah...they couldn't hear me. Dane told me so. WAH!!!
You'd be surprised, Sully. Even when the monitor mix sucks, the crowd may have been able to hear you. I could hear you on-stage, which was good. Lots o' fun. Must do it again. Must speak like Tonto for rest of blog. Go now.
Well all...Nero & Pedro rock even though we had a little "technical difficultly".

The Enablers really rocked. The crowd was pleased with them and their WKRP spin.

Nero & Pedro with the help of Mike Watson, Dan Ring and Keith Messier really rocked. But there was one thing lacking...vocal punch...my territory. My microphone was so low...I was so bummed out over that but played through. I couldn't hear myself and I don't think the crowd could hear much of me either. But it was fun...fun fun fun. We had a great turn ot of friends too.

Oh well...
Have Kiwi do the Osiris spell. Willow did it to bring Buffy back. ^_~ Morning Matt! Two daze to go until Phish. What time you leaving? Me, Keri and Peter plan on leaving before midnight tomorrow.
Nah, I'm going to try to resurrect her. Send a telegram with luck.
Divorce Song
by Liz Phair

And when I asked for a separate room
It was late at night
And we'd been driving since noon
But if I'd known
How that would sound to you
I would have stayed in your bed
For the rest of my life
Just to prove I was right
That it's harder to be friends than lovers
And you shouldn't try to mix the two
Cause if you do it and you're still unhappy
Then you know that the problem is you


And it's true that I stole your lighter
And it's also true that I lost the map
But when you said that I wasn't worth talking to
I had to take your word on that
But if you'd known
How that would sound to me
You would have taken it back
And boxed it up and buried it in the ground
Boxed it up and buried it in the ground
Boxed it up and buried it in the ground
Burned it up and thrown it away

You put in my hands a loaded gun
And then told me not to fire it
When you did the things you said were up to me
And then accused me of trying to fuck it up
But you've never been a waste of my time
It's never been a drag
So take a deep breath and count back from ten
And maybe you'll be alright

And the license said
You had to stick around until I was dead
But if you're tired of looking at my face I guess I already am
But you've never been a waste of my time
It's never been a drag
So take a deep breath and count back from ten
And maybe you'll be alright

Tuesday, July 29, 2003

When's the burial? Should I send a telegram with love?
The car is dead... long live the car.

Blown head gasket, but maybe a cracked block too. I had been hoping it was the thermostat, but kinda knew it wasn't. Good thing I've got some free time.
I got no problem with Sully Nature, but I still have problems with the whole Scorpio Nature idea.
>I think we're violently agreeing.

Then I either don't understand the Liz Phair reference, or why you chose it. It seems to me like she's saying you shouldn't ought to mix the two, and that I'm saying that's a load of crap. If we agree, I'm confused.
Going back to Scorpio Nature for one sec...

This does not sound like me at all...I'm inclined to agree with you. ^_~ WAH!!!

Scorpios

>Liz Phair said it best, man…”It’s harder to be friends than lovers and you shouldn’t ought to mix the two…because if you do and you’re still unhappy then you know that the problem is you”.

Pish and tush on that. Be happy first, and you won't have to blame your unhappiness on anything. If your lover is your friend and your still unhappy, then the problem may very well be you.... or at least, yours. Your happiness is no one's responsibility but your own, but who better than a friend and lover to make it their concern?


In the immortal words of Tenacious D's Jack Black...
"Fuck you, man! You fuckin' dick! Always nay-saying! Everything I create...you piece of shit! You try creating something like inward singing...fuckin' sit in your tower and nap...what's so funny...YOU FUCKING DICK!!!".


But for real...that is the point of the line. I think we're violently agreeing. ^_~
>Huh?

Nothing.. I was tired, and upon reflection that doesn't really make any sense.
To hear you tell it, it seems to me she *was* a bad lover... or at least not a good one. Is the accusation so far off the mark?

Angry over the whole thing of course I could have said she was Hitler. Not a *bad* lover but VERY selfish and VERY unimaginative. VERY one-way...name streets after folk like that. VERY un-sexy for such a pretty woman. If it didn't register in her motive structure then it wouldn't happen. The example I fall back on was one Christmas she offered me a BJ for opening a present early. I was hurt. I mean...what was wrong with Tuesday three months ago when I really wanted one...so somehting accessed her motive structure and it was in her best interest to do it. I didn't give her an early present. I was insulted.
I'm not really a pervert...I just play one on TV. ^_~ No really...her attitude made feel like a perv for wanting intimacy beyond intercourse.

>I also bought a couple of books and left Post-It tabs.

How romantic. This, from mister "the power of pretending you don't want it".


Huh?
My favorite t-shirts seen at lollapalooza (Jane's Addiction and Jurassic Five both kicked ass!):

I like it sloppy and wierd

If you can read this, the bitch just passed your sorry ass

It's not going to suck itself

Can you feel the magic between us?
no, lower

fuck you, you fucking fuck!

Good dives today... great conditions, nice boat, saw some sharks, and found an antique anchor. My car's fucked though... blown gasket or leaky heater core I think. It's good for about 3 minutes running time before it overheats, and the air conditioner smells like coolant. Good thing the engine fits in a suitcase, or I wouldn't want to try fixing it myself.
>Never during. Never right before or right after. Select a neutral location…public too in case they freak out. Bring it up over dinner. I did this once and it made me feel good to communicate my needs in an adult and civil way.

Before and after may not be so good, but I couldn't disagree more with "never during." What better time to tell your partner what you like? I see nothing at all wrong with a little "I really love it when you...", "A little to the left.", "I'm not liking that.", or even "Woah! Wrong hole!" Laying out an actual list of rules seems terribly weird and akward to me, but I suppose if you were to feel some need to do that, dinner's as good a time as any. It could be really funny as an old "Rules of this Tavern" style painted wooden sign though.

>...grabbing her head mid-act would not have been a good idea.

Of course not, but you could certainly have made it clear that it was something you liked and hoped for without jumping to the least appropriate method first. Mentioning it would have been fine in my book, unless it had repeatedly been made clear it wasn't going to happen. In that case, you've got a choice to make... is it more important to you to have a partner who isn't irritated by what you like, or to make your current partner happy?

>I also bought a couple of books and left Post-It tabs.

How romantic. This, from mister "the power of pretending you don't want it".

>I was accused of calling her a bad lover by buying books and mentioning carnal happiness.

To hear you tell it, it seems to me she *was* a bad lover... or at least not a good one. Is the accusation so far off the mark?

>Liz Phair said it best, man…”It’s harder to be friends than lovers and you shouldn’t ought to mix the two…because if you do and you’re still unhappy then you know that the problem is you”.

Pish and tush on that. Be happy first, and you won't have to blame your unhappiness on anything. If your lover is your friend and your still unhappy, then the problem may very well be you.... or at least, yours. Your happiness is no one's responsibility but your own, but who better than a friend and lover to make it their concern?

>The goal should be for them to want to please you and not feeling as if you’re imposing your desires on an unwilling participant.

Well... yeah. If it's that big a deal that they feel you're imposing your desires, you MIGHT be dating the wrong person. Either that or you're being an insensitive git... or really freaky.

Monday, July 28, 2003

Did I tell you I had my aura read as well as my numerology.... very interesting. She was also a spirit medium. I think she pretty much talked straight out for two hours. I have an hour of it on tape, but it's ben put away for a couple years until I see what spans out from what I recall of our discussion.
June 22, 1978
3:43pm / 1543
Stoneham, MA. 02180

:)
Oh...and never call a lover "mom" by accident. It's not just a Kevin Smith joke. WAH!!! ^_~
When is it ok to discuss the do's & don't of the bedroom.:

I will add this though...if they do somehting you're not cool with then of course feel free to say anything you want.

Like "get that out of my ass" is one I've heard. ^_~
I'm with Matt on this one - you blame far too much on the Scorpio rage and take far too little responsibilty for just being you. (Someone we all love and cherish - good with the bad) - k1w1

Ahhh…but my Nature is my Nature. Blame the wolf for biting you…but he is a wolf. I subscribe to my own POV on the world. Astrology factors into it only so much and actually very little but it does hold merit and weight in the way I assess others and the way I view myself. It is the old-fashioned way of personality typing. Lots of it is pure Bull Shite. Yes. Most of all religions are pure Bull Shite too.
For me it is uncanny about my Scorpio nature and I don’t use it as an excuse to behave badly but I understand my nature better now that I embrace it. I don’t use it as a source for identity either. I’m basically hardwired to be a complete bastard. ^_^ I continually try to get over my Nature but it doesn’t work. I’m now happy to co-exist with my Nature instead of denying it, suppressing it, making believe it doesn’t exist.
I don’t blame the stars for my situation…just my orientation. ^_^. My Scorpio Nature is one of many tools that guide my choice. It is a source of strength like my “ki” is. It can also be a source of misery and angst. It is a tool and part of the composite that makes up me.

“There is more to Heaven and Earth, Horatio than just your philosophy…”
-Hamlet

- I could go off Sully on the men in my life who have treated me and my emotions just as poorly as your last. BE warned however not take out the remorse you feel for her by leaving an ocean of 20 - somethings shattered in your wake. That may produce just as much bad karma for you as she herself deserves.

You can and should go off on those creeps. You do not have to tolerate being mistreated AT ALL! Just because a relationship goes sour does not mean you’re someone’s emotional whipping boy.
I got a good one for you regarding that 20-somethings statement. Karma already had Her way with me on that one. Tales for another day though. But a wake of 20-somehtings…no…it’s about going into a date without projecting an air of neediness and wanting of a relationship. It can happen. Either that or sour the time ahead and tell them “hey…I’m not looking for Ms. Right”. It’s a funny area. I prefer to play it cool but I understand that more should be said on the intro. I feel as though I do not misrepresent what I am, who I am and what dating me will be all about although I do not come with this small print all verbalized at the get-go. I think my attitude reflects this fine. And true to form most dates do not pan out. I’m still getting used to this dating stuff. I really like it, I like meeting different people, I like find out what compatibility is all about, I like learning from bad dates, I like going to Museums with new people and getting their take on things and yes…I’d like to experience a whole array of physical love and lust.
I don’t take out anything regarding the Last on my Currents. I’m not as tortured over it as some of this might appear. I like the emotional quandary we find ourselves in here and also I’m enjoying sharing my pain…especially with Keith. We can help each other greatly because it does still hurt but hunny…your friend there and her shitty memory ain’t gonna kill me.

Rules of dating questions:
When is it ok to fart/pick your nose/scratch happily away at those part that need a good scratch every now and again in front of each other (not so much of a current issue but in general needs to be addressed for the greater good):


Only in a “real” relationship when the Other will not run away. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve come across is resisting the need to not only pick my nose (and flick it at the nearest window) but scratch my balls/ass, fart, spit, burp and mostly…crack my bones/knuckles. I’ve been on so many dates in the past few months and the good old back/knuckle cracking is getting to me. I have to wait until I go a second or the restroom. I guess you’d have to be over a certain milestone. Perhaps the 6-month mark or maybe even after giving the Other a set of the keys to your Flat. At all possible…hide these disgusting human traits and habits we all have until you feel the time is right. All relationships are different. If they do it in your presence then you have the Green Light.

When is it ok to bring up the deep dark recesses of your soul/family history/friends deceptions. :

It’s OK on some occasions. For three reasons to just blurt it out there. One: when you want to drive them away. Two: when they ask you/confront you. Three: when it justifies your bad behavior. They’ll naturally come up as you open up. You’re like a Jenga game and certain pieces loosen up and “unlock” when others are pulled first. Pull it too soon and the structure will topple.


When is it ok to discuss your ex's - and the most recent loves of your life.:

Never. Faux pas grand mal. That’s a Cardinal Sin of dating. The Other had a life before you too and I bet the details are probably as bad as yours. You’d come off as comparing (even though if that wasn’t your goal how but the Other interprets that and reads & sees into that is out of your control for the most part). It’s best to leave that in the past unless it has some overbearing influence on your current life and the direction of your current relationship. Why would it? Only you would know if you found it necessary to pick scabs in front of a new beau/babe.


When is it ok to discuss the do's & don't of the bedroom.:

Never during. Never right before or right after. Select a neutral location…public too in case they freak out. Bring it up over dinner. I did this once and it made me feel good to communicate my needs in an adult and civil way. I know that the Other was aware of my desires and the ball was literally in her court now and it’s up to her to choose to please me or not. But grabbing her head mid-act would not have been a good idea. I did not get my way but I was open and communicative with my desires. I also bought a couple of books and left Post-It tabs. This too failed miserably and (here is the cost of being vocal) I was accused of calling her a bad lover by buying books and mentioning carnal happiness. Again, I say I tried to communicate my desires and was not sated. Liz Phair said it best, man…”It’s harder to be friends than lovers and you shouldn’t ought to mix the two…because if you do and you’re still unhappy then you know that the problem is you”. The goal should be for them to want to please you and not feeling as if you’re imposing your desires on an unwilling participant.


When is it too soon to tell a guy to just hurry and an fuck me already - that much foreplay is not necassary and frankly I'm bored now and would like to go to sleep sometime soon.:

Hmmm…I had this problem before too. It was about not hooking into the Primal Node. We do put a high value on foreplay and like it but sometime you just gotta throw her down and take her. Hard, deep and heavy. It is depressing when your lover is one way though. Too much of that is not a good thing. Compromise. But this is one of those cases when the Other should just “obey” and do what their partner asks. Until it becomes a problem I guess.
Most of you got the email but...

Tomorrow Night...yeah a little last minute but we'd
didn't know for sure until Nero finally made it back
from his Swiss blood transplant.

http://boston.citysearch.com/profile/4751838/
The Burren. Davis Square, Somerville, MA.
Open Mic Night in the Backroom. No cover.

Tuesday, July 29, 2003!
Nero & Pedro! ONE NIGHT ONLY! Come and hear the
sizzling sounds of avant-garde asshole Nero St.
Vuililac (Eric T. O'Sullivan) and Cubish cheesecake
centerfold Pedro MacGillicuddy (Peter Fernandez) as
they take the stage with 4 original songs with a
little help from their friends; Mike Watson, Dan
"Dringo" Ring (both of the Enablers) and Keith Messier
(of Dabble and soap opera fame). Nero & Pedro plan to
go on about the 10PM range. Other acts include the
Enablers and the Cello Chix...bastard cousins of Nero
& Pedro but that doesn't stop them from making the
two-backed beast.

Please make it if you can. The Enablers are thinking
about going on earlier...about 9PM. Bring plenty of
pocket change for the carneys. Small hands...smells
like cabbage...

Have you shaked your ass yet? Bring yours and it
could happen to you...feel free to bring as many
virgins as plausible.

^_~

Luv,
The Nero & Pedro Society for Better Groupies (aka the
Band).
Leah,

I'll have a Natal Reading done for you but I need this info:

Date of Birth with year:
Exact Time of Birth:
Geographical location down to town (including ZIP code if applicable):

Sunday, July 27, 2003

The grey areas abound on both sides of the gender fence, for many of the same reasons. Man have long been the ones with all the freedoms, but along with that we've been responsible as the gaurdians and providers. The traditional wisdom regarding our interactions with women has been largely given with this role in mind.

I could go on at length, but have to get to bed (up early for some boat dives off Newburyport if the weather holds) so I'll just sum up with a couple of quick thoughts. Maybe I'll elaborate later... maybe not. Anywho, in a society where sexual equality is held as a virtue, many of the old adages based on clear role definitions can create problems. In effect (and just by way of example... I'm trying to advocate hitting girls, just to illustrate that equality changes some dynamics), "don't hit girls" is great... until the girls come out swinging. As women increasingly become their own independant and capable providers and protectors, I wonder that some of the social artifacts of the traditional roles, like chivalry, might find their relevancy erroding.
Sully made my point earlier in saying that the equality of men and women in society is balancing (for the first time EVER!) the converse lesson of respect and curteousy are not. Women have spent millenia being the lesser being. And although this may shock many - I can see why its been like that for so long.

I really appreciate having the ability and choice to do anything I want with my life. Hell, I can be a firefighter if I want, however I am now also subject to choices that women are only in the past 100 years coming to grips with. And frankly I think we feel a little like fish out of water.


Ok - so I've got some time to kill and I thought I might finish early thoughts.

I think the point I was making was that women have been the 'lesser' being for ever. Literally. Suddenly we are given choices, rights and a power that equalizes us with our male counterparts - GREAT! We have choices to make for ourselves about family, lifestyle, career, wether or not to have children, etc etc. But doesn't this take away everything we have ever know. Women are sinking into a sea that they have no real idea of... not that men have any better idea. In fact, I think men are becoming more passive aggressive the more proactive women get.

See, women have been waiting for this power since the beginning. After all wasn't it Eve that went searching to make the better decision for her and her husband when she picked the fruit? Now that we have we are like kids in a candy shop - and I think we are abusing it. And I admit it is hard not too.

We have birth control, meaning we can have as much sex as we want without the concern of becoming pregnant and should that fail, well, we can always get rid of it... We have choices like we have never had and freedom like we have never had... is this sounding anti-feminist or feminist - I can't tell anymore.

I don't know if I am happy about all the freedom and power we have recieved over the past 50 years. In fact, I find it a little hard to deal with most of the time, like the world is spinning a bit out of control and I wish for simplier decisions. But, I don't deny that having all this isn't great! It is! Just a little overwhelming.

I can see how so many women out there do easily abuse this power... and freedom. Two of you frequenters to the blog are perfect examples of what goes wrong when women abuse it.

I really don't want to fall into the same traps, but there aren't really any guidelines out there for us to follow nowadays. Before we had specific tasks to accomplisgh in society - our roles had clearly defined borders. Now it's all grey...

- k1w1

PS - once again - where'd all the girls go?
"If someone asks you whether you believe in astrology, ask them what they mean before you reply. If someone gives me a definition such as "the belief and study of cosmic influences on the earth and its creatures", I can agree that such influences do exist. However, I point out that while it is obvious there are cosmic influences, especially from the sun and the moon, there is no evidence that positions of the heavenly bodies can be used to predict the actions or characteristics of individuals."

I'm with Matt on this one - you blame far too much on the Scorpio rage and take far too little responsibilty for just being you. (Someone we all love and cherish - good with the bad) - k1w1
Hey Sully - you sure about your scorpio nature???
Turns out I'm a Gemini
CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE!
I need a wookie hug!


Saturday, July 26, 2003

I agree with Matt on this stuff, pretty much 100%.
>When is it ok to fart/pick your nose/scratch happily away...

Aside from accidental flatulance and the dreaded dutch oven (which is funny, but still not really "ok"), that isn't ever really cool. At least, not if you're trying to seem appealing... unless maybe you have a booger hanging halfway to you lip. Then, for god's sake please pick that shit.

Deep dark recesses? Gradually, and as comfort dictates. You gotta be sensitive though to both your own comfort level and that of your listener.

Ex's are best avoided in discussion I think, but that sort of depends on how long and well you've known each other too. Still, the best topic for discussion of ex's is how much better/more attractive the new partner is.

Discuss do's and don't of the bedroom as they come up. Sex should be fun and open... personally, I just ask. If a guy doesn't though, you have to tell him what you like and don't. Men are notoriously bad at reading silent signals.

Not sure what to tell you about the last one though... anytime I find myself bored in the bedroom, I take it as a negative indicator of my interest level in general. I've never had bad foreplay with someone about whom I've felt smitten, but I'd say handle the situation delicately. There's lots of potential for bruised pride. You might lump it in with do's and don'ts of the bedroom, and when you're ready let him know without undue commentary on how bored you are. I don't think there's really a bad time to tell a guy, "I'm ready already... take me NOW." It definately wouldn't hurt my feelings if it were put to me that way!
Thanks, Matt. Noah was just over three years old when the picture was taken. Now he's almost four (but looks just the same).
You know - I've been sitting here for a little over an hour reading writting responces to the last 50 posts since my last transmission and I have decided to simply say this.... Rules are bull shit if the party isn't receptive to them. Rules restrict the honesty and frankly waste valuable time that life seems to be sucking away anyway.

The result of my past week of living torment (and more so the last 24 hours) leave me with very specific questions that undoubtly will give much insight into my current status:

Rules of dating questions:
When is it ok to fart/pick your nose/scratch happily away at those part that need a good scratch every now and again in front of each other (not so much of a current issue but in general needs to be adressed for the greater good)
When is it ok to bring up the deep dark recesses of your soul/family history/friends deceptions.
When is it ok to discuss your ex's - and the most recent loves of your life.
When is it ok to discuss the do's & don't of the bedroom.
When is it too soon to tell a guy to just hurry and an fuck me already - that much foreplay is not necassary and frankly I'm bored now and would like to go to sleep sometime soon.

Answer me that boys and perhaps I will have more to discuss. Unfortunately the past week has left me spent of this topic and I do apologize as the instigator of it. I need one of those off switches right now. I really big one!

MINGIA!

- where have all the girls gone.

- I could go off Sully on the men in my life who have treated me and my emotions just as poorly as your last. BE warned however not take out the remorse you feel for her by leaving an ocean of 20 - somethings shattered in your wake. That may produce just as much bad karma for you as she herself deserves.

- finally - Buffy is done. Comments welcome. 'Nifty' ending, but a little expected, which was unfortunate.
Cute kid! How old is he?

Friday, July 25, 2003

Here's the good that can come out of even a broken marriage: Meet my son, Noah. :)

I like throwing in the Apache Wedding Song in the ceremony too. I don't recite it. I had the Best Man at one and the father of the bride at the other do it. It gives a family member or friend the opportunity to be part of the wedding and adds up to 2 minutes to the overall ceremony.
WAH! Driven!


Cubans fleeing the island use inner tubes, surfboards and rickety rafts

Courtesy of: The BBC
Actually, that sucks. They should've been allowed into the country. They seem like resourceful, ingenious and -- dare I say -- driven sorts of folks.
That's great!
These guys are my new heros. They should have let them in.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3094795.stm
Should be a fun one... I'm handling the vows, but other than that mostly just playing MC for a handfull of other folks who'll be doing an assortment of things ranging from part of a traditional buddhist ceremony to readings and what have you. I'm not sure on the details yet though... we've been meaning to all get together for lobster and discussion.
Oh! Sorry I misunderstood! So you're doing Charlie's wedding. Kewl. Robe=instant credibility. ^_~
Hells no!

I'm officiating at "Spinning" Charlie and Hathaway's wedding. The whirling one gave Barnos a cab ride home one time, recognized my car, and told him to say hi. He's a great guy, but freaky enough to have gotten his own sidebar in both the Boston Globe and Relix magazine.
Matt...you're solemnizing the Barnos Wedding? News to me! ALRIGHT! Keep it in the Family! Mebbe I did know that but Pooh is a bear of little brains.
Naw...just us spooks & mooks. Sgt. Pecker's Loney Hearts Club Hands.
Yeah, where are the hundreds of people? ...and what about the margaritas!? I'm pretty sure I remember seeing something in the invite about free margaritas on Ocho. Maybe I dreamed it.
No doubt there is a dance that needs doing, and courtship is important, but don't confuse what I mean by being yourself with doing whatever you want with no regard for it's potential effect on the partner to be and your odds of successfull dating. When dating, I tend to be quite courteous, respectful, and chivalrous, and while I've certainly learned some hard lessons about seeming needy, to me being myself doesn't mean being a self-centered dick.

I think there are a lot of things a person can do to create challenge and keep it interesting, and much like you arrived at a balance in your long term relationships without trying to be challenging at a conscious level, I think that's also possible when making dating interesting if you're truely that compatable. Maybe you're not that picky about compatability, I don't know. For me it's a much bigger factor than who calls who when and who ends the date first.

What I do know though is that conventional dating isn't the only way to begin a successful relationship. Two of the long-term couples I see most frequently, my housemates Jon and Tracey and my good friends Brian and Shayne never really bothered with it, but they're all interesting and challenging people in their own right.

With Jon and Tracey, my roommate Dan and I had gone out for the night leaving Jon on the couch after giving him shit about how he'll never meet anyone if he doesn't get out and meet people. My friend Tracey popped by to see what I was up to, met Jon for the first time, dragged him out to meet us at the bar, took him home, spent the night, and hasn't left since. That was three years ago, and they're now looking at buying a house. Serious rules violations.

Brian and Shayne met at a bar, had a good conversation, and exchanged numbers. They never went on a date, but called each other frequently over the next couple of weeks, and dropped hints about where they might be able to meet up. She'd say he was thinking about catching some bluegrass at the Tir Na Nog, and he'd show up. He'd say he was going to see some band at Harper's Ferry, and she'd wander up to us halfway through the show. This went on every couple of nights for a few weeks, always meeting in busy public places. The first time they actually made plans to see each other, they hooked up, and years later it still looks like it'll be for good. Not exactly playing by the rules.

I could go on telling you about Chuck and Kate, Ashley and Jeremy, "Spinning" Charlie (if you can believe that Barnos... I'm doing his wedding) and Hathaway, Mike and Jill, "Hazy" and Heather, as well as a host of others, but the point is the same. There's more to the art of romance than sticking to the formula... unless you'll be content with any vaguely compatable, descent looking partner that you can get to keep seeing you. Ah, l'amore.
Yeah, what the hell Sully? Aren't there supposed to be tens of hundreds of people on this blog?
Fuckin' Kiwi! Just like a chick! I got philosophical blue balls now! ^_~ ^_~ ^_~
In other words...good morning! WAH!!!! COFFEE O.D.!!!



WHY WHY WHY??? WAH!!!

Huh?
one...two...three...SPUNT!!!
I'm talking about the chase when I make reference to The Rules. I'm not talking about long-term relationships. I've had two long-term relationships, and I never played by any rules that involved me consciously creating a challenge for the other person. When you're in a long-term relationship, you're no longer 'dating.' You're now at a level where some level of commitment must come into play. At that time, you have rules -- expressed or implied -- that the two of you follow for the sake of each other as well as yourselves. This is when the two start to become one. If all goes well, this continues ad infinitum. I believe that effective courting has many variables, more than there are people in the world. What complicates things further is that what works for one person one day won't necessarily work for another person that day...or even the same person on a different day. You don't know what's going to work, and often times neither do they.

Following The Rules is one way of attempting to up your odds of success during the courting phase. Another way is to completely be yourself, call when you want, pay for this and not for that, do and say what you want when you want, and if they don't like it then fuck 'em (figuratively speaking)...move on. But here's the rub: We ALL fall victim in some way, great or small, to changing ourselves and how we act depending on the person or people we're around. That's not necessarily a bad thing. There's such a thing as courtesy, social decorum, etiquette, whatever. Plus, there's the need to build a level of trust. There's a desire to bond over common interests. We're social creatures by nature; we need people around us in some capacity. We can't completely be ourselves, doing and saying whatever happens to be floating through the folds of our brains at any given moment. So we're constantly filtering in just about any social situation. The Rules prescribe a greater level and particular take on something we already do as a matter of course.

Whenever a man pays for a woman's dinner, holds open a door for her, etc., there's something going on that both are aware of. It's chivalry, which is respectable courting practice. I do it out of respect for the woman, but I also do it so that I can be seen as a chivalrous person. If I take it to another level and keep calling her and showering her with gifts, I think it comes off as me trying too hard and coming off as needy. I don't want that, so I'll quash the impulse. I think you have to moderate yourself with regard to what you think is (a) appropriate and (b) effective given the relationship in question. If I'm playing by some rules that are so foreign to me that they make me feel super-aware of myself and uncomfortable, my (potential) mate is sure to pick up on it. That's bad. So instead I feel I need to become comfortable with some mix of something innate to myself and something innately attractive to her. If who you are is innately attractive already, nice. If not, you may have to work it a bit during the courting phase. Let's remember that it's rare for a woman to completely be herself in the beginning as well. The more you get to know each other, the easier it is to reveal your true selves, but that takes time. You've gotta do a little dance before you can get to square 100.

- The Heated Dog
Sure, it's important to be a challenge. It's important to be a lot of things, but the way in which you embody that is variable, isn't it? Do you really believe that if you behave in such and such a way that it will inevitably lead to success in a relationship? If it isn't inevitable, then mustn't you conceed that it's possible that something else might have worked instead, and if so, doesn't that make the rules little more than one possible approach?

In any case, some of my best friends who are coupled and seem inclined to last (5 couples come to mind immediately), would never have made it past the 3rd date if they had played by the rules Sully enumerated. If I were to pick couples I'd like to model a relationship after, they would all be near or at the top of the list. Show me a long-term happy couple who advocates dating that way and I might be inclined to take more stock in it, but I don't know of any off the top of my head. Do you guys?

Thursday, July 24, 2003

:: chime ::

Okay, a few things about The Rules:

I neither endorse nor decry The Rules. I hate that they exist, but I hate them because I hate the way we're wired. (You see how this has come full circle, don't you?) One of the tenets behind The Rules is that one needs to avoid projecting neediness. To need is to be weak and dependent. None of us wants a needy, clingy mate. It's tiring and lacks challenge. Again, we like to have challenge in our life; it fosters personal growth. Without challenge, we're destined to a humdrum existence. So The Rules base themselves in part on a desire to project some inner strength, self confidence and independence (read: challenge).

The laws are there, and they're undeniable. I can't just say "fuck 'em, I'll be myself." I work in an environment that's become increasingly political. If I want to stay on top of my game and ultimately keep my job, I have to play a little politics here and there. Am I proud of it? No. Would I have architected it this way? No. But it is as it is. Period. Same goes with relationships -- men and women finding each other: Some game has to be played. I don't have hard and fast rules for myself, but I'm aware that there's something going on out there and I'm being played at times, so I've got to play a little in return. I'm not a forward, I'm a goalie. (You gettin' this?)

Now consider this: There's a woman out there who's eminently eligible: She's attractive, intelligent, well-dressed, etc., but she's been single for a while and really wants to find someone special. If she starts jumping all over me (calling all the time, not letting me hang up, wanting this that and the other), it's an ego boost only for a little while. Then it becomes an annoyance. If she's playing hard to get, it's intriguing. "Why isn't she calling me? What's going on in her life that's so important?" She's raised the bar, created a challenge, made me work a little harder. She's not doing this with malicious intent; she's doing this because that's what works. I feel better after a workout if I pushed myself a little harder than if I just gave up on the last few reps or bagged out on a set or two. I feel a sense of accomplishment because I proved something to myself. A challenge is good for people; they want it whether they know it or not. Again, it's biological. "Survival of the fittest," a famous lad once said.

I want something that's challenging but ultimately attainable, but it gives me a charge to know that I ATTAINED IT. By the same token, I want someone who's going to try and attain me and not simply (a) assume they can have me at their whim or (b) give up at the first hurdle.

That said, I don't live and die by The Rules. I didn't really even know what they were till Sully enumerated them. I had a vague idea about them, and I see where they're coming from. Again, I neither endorse nor decry them.

Have a happy Thursday (or Friday, Kiwi).

Yours truly,

Hottus Doggus
Where's Kiwi hiding? How about finishing your thought for us there kid?
No, it's the infinite possibilities and limited timeframe that make life a game... laws just make it interesting. That aside, I like playing at life... I don't like games in love. Seriously, if a woman won't make plans with me for saturday because the rules say thursday is too late to call, that's her loss... she ain't right for me anyhow.

As for my "rules", no... while I need for there to be some rapport, it's not that being friends first is a rule of mine or even a guidline. It's just the way the dice have fallen for me that sometimes when I've fallen for a woman she's been a good friend of mine. Unlike the occasions when it's a woman I don't know very well, I so far haven't handled myself particularly deftly in those situations. We live and learn though... I used to do a lot more stupid things when I was younger. Unfortunately, with the women I've gotten to know through dating, I've so far always been disappointed in the long run (or even short run). Sometimes because they were emotionally draining, sometimes because there were complications with another guy, sometimes because I was blinded to what a miserable bitch she could be because the sex was good. In any case, all these women were different, and all of the circumstances as well. I can't think of many rules that could be generally applied to all of them anymore than I can think of any happy couples I know who attribute their happiness to having dated by the rules.

As for "even though we're attracted to each other I'm not buying you flowers or jumping through stupid hoops of fire on the count of romance? Love me or leave me...I don't care?", it's not that at all either. You've seen some of the shit I'll pull off just for kicks... you probably don't want to know the hoops I'd be willing to jump through for romance. ...and the money I've thrown away on flowers? PLEASE don't get me started on that. Not believing in a set of rules doesn't equate to apathy or unwillingness to put in an effort. All I'm saying is that other than "act appropriately for the woman and situation without grossly misrepresenting yourself", I can't think of a single rule that I try to abide by in all dating situations. If it isn't to be used in all situations, it isn't much of a rule, is it?

I think it was Sully who said earlier that the love of a good woman is like frosting on the cake of life. I really like my cake. It's a damn good cake, and I don't want to see it smothered in any off-the-shelf Betty Crocker shit. I want a frosting I like as much as the cake or none at all. Well, maybe just a spoonfull here and there... you gotta have a little frosting.

"You are one of the most independent people I know..."

I'm independent, but only to a point... I don't know where I'd be without the love of family and friends. Sometimes that's almost enough.
BTW Kids: the Public URL of Channel Ocho has been updated to http://thechannelocho.blogspot.com/
Please make all necessary arrangements. Thank you. It's not like Spike TV I know but...well I'll tell you about it later.
I understand your position Matt. And how you you equate the Rules to Gameplaying but if I follow that then rules such as laws make life a game? ^_~
But I think I like your answer...your rules...for lack of better nomenclature...is that they be friends first and then romance blossoms from mutual attraction? Is that it? Or "even though we're attracted to eachother I'm not buying you flowers or jumping through stupid hoops of fire on the count of romance"? Love me or leave me...I don't care? You are one of the most independent people I know...
^_^
Okay, I got up late and have to run soon, but here's a bit of elaboration for you. If you date according to rules, you're playing a game and not being genuine. Maybe that works for you, but my objective in dating has never been to "land a woman". Women, for the most part, can go cram it if they don't like the way I act. Fuck 'em. Funny thing is, a hell of a lot of them seem to like it just fine, and with the notable exception of people I've wanted to be with who were already good friends, which can be pretty akward, I've never had any problems getting the attention and affection of the ladies.

Furthermore, I know many guys, myself included, who will not knowingly date "Rules Girls". Playing by the rules is still playing, and I don't like being played. If I don't want to be with you for who and what you really are, I plain old don't want to be with you.

No, I don't have my own set of rules for dating anymore than I have my own set of rules for making friends. My demeanor may be different, but only because the situation demands a different approach, and not because I'm following some silly set of rules.
Awww...Keeeef, my goal was not to make you feel bad. C'mon...kick me...I deserve it. But really...I think we share something signifigant to the topic: betrayal.
Keith and I are genuinely "nice guys". It makes me wonder because I know Keith isn't a Millioniare but he is a college-educated man who was providing for his family and in a marriage. Car, mortgage...correct? The "American" life? Me...I was living in sin with my chick and I am not a college grad and not a provider with no children. Very different situations but similar circumstances. Nice guys are OK for so long. Chicks bemoan men and wish there were more nice guys...but when they get one...tsk, tsk. Women's inherent evil make it impossible to stay a nice guy. Well not really. I enjoy being nice to women but I'm always thinking now when will they take advantage of me and my niceness.

Don'tcha wish you could tell that other guy...hey buddy, don'tcha know a chick that will cheat for you will cheat on you...good luck you fuckin' sap.
Matt...do you have your own rules for dating and if so what are they if you'd like to share. You too Keith, Kiwi, Peter, et al. Except for Juan Barnos who has Senora Barnos. ^_~
Some rules for dating and relationships are good. Others are devious. But there are rules nonetheless.
Yes, Matty the Game has Rules. But it's like Monopoly. There can never be an agreeance until you're in someone else's house. There are general rules that we all know and then there are specific ones like Free Parking. Some people don't put $$ in the kitty. Some on put the $500 in there the first time. Some rules always replenish the kitty. None are wrong but none are right either.
You yourself are not a fan of the Rules I know but the Game has Rules. Eneryone has their own variation on them too. I picked this up on a Yahoo Engine Search:

5 MORE Rules to Dating
By Chlamydia

We could all use a little more help. Here are some personal experiences we here at BC are using to aid you in your Dating Journeys.

1. Never pick up girls in the coat room.
2. Never fool around with anyone who's name you can't pronounce.
3. Never consider your waterbed a form of foreplay.
4. Never believe that phrases like 'Honesty is the best policy' and 'Just be yourself' apply to dating.
5. Never think that 'You're not too bad' is a coy pick-up line.

Courtesy of: http://www.angelfire.com/zine/blackcoffee/5rules.html


Here are rules for Girls from Ellen & Sherrie:

"The Rules"

Be a "creature unlike any other."
Don't talk to a man first (and don't ask him to dance).
Don't meet him halfway or go dutch with him on a date.
Don't call him and rarely return his phone calls.
Always end phone calls first.
Don't accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday.
Always end the date first.
Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines day.
Don't see him more than once or twice a week.
No more than casual kissing on the first date.
Don't tell him what to do.
Don't expect a man to change or try to change him.
Don't open up too fast.
Don't date a married man.
Be easy to live with.
Don't stare at men or talk too much.
Don't live with a man (or leave your things in his apartment).
Even if you're engaged or married, you still need the rules.
Do the Rules even when your friends or parents think you're nuts!
Be Smart and other rules for dating in high school.
Take Care of yourself and other Rules for dating in college.
Next! And other Rules for dealing with Rejection.
Don't discuss the Rules with your therapist.
Don't break the Rules.
Do the Rules and you'll live happily ever after.
Love only those who love you.

by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider


Then there are simple "do's" and "don't's":

Dating Do's

Be attentive to your date. When faced with the dilemma of whether to bare all or listen attentively, many singles prefer to listen. Lori is a 22-year-old college student who feels she's nailed the role of "listener". "If you listen to your date, they think you're interesting even though you haven't actually said anything. Just keep asking questions and they'll think you're brilliant and fascinating."
Maintain eye contact. Just make sure it's not too intense. Remember, you aren't a hawk eyeing it's prey.
Plan your date out ahead of time. Avoid falling into the vicious cycle of saying, "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Decide on something and do it. Be open to other suggestions if your plans don't work out.
Meet in a public place on your first date. Not only is this a safe idea, it also allows for distractions should conversation lag. Rick, 24, agrees: "Leave the one-on romantic dates for when you really feel you are into a person."
Offer to split the bill. The issue of "who pays" is probably one of the largest sources of confusion for singles. Most people today feel that the bill is the responsibility of the party that asked for the date. That said, it is courteous to offer to "go Dutch" and you should always be prepared to split the costs. If your date does pick up the tab, offer to pay the next time.
Act chilvalrous. Men, the women's liberation movement may have provided women with the means to financial independence and positions of power, but this does not mean that she no longer appreciates those little things that make you a gentlemen. Open doors for your date, pull out her chair for her, make sure she gets home safely. These are the things that make a good impression. Sarah, 31, believes: "If used correctly, chivalry is the charm of all charms; if overused, it seems like machismo."
Followup with your date. Call or email your date to let them know you had a good time. This doesn't have to be a plea to see them again right away. It's simply a courtesy. If your date had an enjoyable time too, this will be icing on the cake!
Crack jokes. Not only will this put your date at ease, it will show them you have a sense of humor.
Discuss heavier topics. Let's face it, some people SHOULD stick to small talk, but if you're informed on a topic, go ahead and discuss it. If you find some topics appropriate and your date finds them taboo, it may be better to realize this early on.

Dating Don'ts

Don't act distracted during a date. Turn off your cell phone and keep your eyes from wandering. Nothing will show a greater lack of interest on your part than fielding phone calls and checking out the waitstaff.
Don't turn your date into a therapy session. Avoid subjects like your ex, your bad relationship with your mother or your growing sense of insecurity over the strange growth you've discovered on your back.
Don't be pretentious. Nobody is perfect and nothing is more annoying than someone who acts like they are.
Don't agree for the sake of agreeing. It's important to stand your ground and let your date know where you stand on certain topics. The point is getting to know one another. Most people enjoy intellectual argument, as long as you avoid insulting your date's intelligence.
Don't try to make any uninvited physical advances. There are so many different opinions on what is acceptable, physically, on a date. Cara, 29, holds the opinion that if there is chemistry, the physical aspects of a relationship will fall into place. "If things feel right, then hold hands, kiss, whatever feels right. Nothing is worse, though, than a first date who is way too into PDA (public displays of affection). It's sort of like they are staking their claim, which is a major turn-off."
Women, don't be afraid to ask a man for a date. In fact, many men find a woman who will make the first move attractive and confident. Kate, 30, agrees: "A woman asking a man for a date doesn't have to be a pathetic plea to listen to Seal over a candlelit dinner. You can invite the guy to something you are going to anyway, like a concert, so it's like you are asking them to come along."
Don't consume large amounts of alcohol. In one of his early movies, Arnold Schwarzenegger told his drunken wife: "You should not drink and bake." Well, the same holds true for dating: You should not drink and date. Athough the reasons for this are pretty obvious, it's a trap many people fall into and it has ruined many a person's chances for a second date. If you must drink, stick with one beer or glass of wine.
Don't be afraid to end the date early. If things aren't working out or you are uncomfortable, feel free to end the date at any time.

Courtesy of: http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/dating_rules.html

You disagree? Elaborate.
The game has rules, eh? Not sure I agree with that.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

I can empathize with all the stuff you're saying here, Sully. It makes me feel bad. It makes me feel like the relationship was built on rubble when I thought everything was solid. She dumped this on me like a ton of bricks, taking into account not a whit how I'd feel about all of this. She made a mockery of marriage. Everthing became a sham in an instant. I would never lie next to her again, never hold her, never hear "I love you." And I had ALL OF THIS seconds before.

Do I think she feels guilt for what she's done? Yes, but she's doing her best to cover it over. She's running away and is destined to repeat her past. The problem is that she's involving innocent children. She'll make a monster of Graham, her oldest. I'll do everything I can to protect Noah and give him as normal a life as possible. It's been a year, and I still won't involve Noah in any of my romantic relationships. He doesn't need that added confusion. He's all I've got now. He's my world.

Glad you liked the sonnet.
In this sonnet, I invoke the aid of the god of sunlight, music and healing to help me get beyond her, but it's futile as the couplet suggests.

Apollo, brother in such bootless care,
Make blinding thy dawn’s rays within mine eyes,
That they may overshine her visage fair,
Her night-swept tresses, smiling starry eyes.
O, rouse me with thy morning melody!
Ring trumpet's reveille within mine ears,
That it my ill-abstracted mind may free
From her Circean dream-voice when it nears.
Extend thy day with ever slowing foot;
Extinguish twilit thoughts of sight, of sound,
That I may know not shadows of their root
But track thy course upon some waking ground.
Alas, night taketh day as she doth me
With chartless stars so oft I dream to see.
IMHO...the easiest way to land a certain chick is to ignore the chick. The Game has Rules. Withdraw your attention, she'll seek it like a moth to a flame...and if she gets her wings burned off are you to blame (to paraphrase Marlene Dietrich).
But you choose to give her attention. True. Choice is the most powerful Human Quality. It is Free Will Defined. So what if we're strapped to Time's Arrow and the future is already set. The choices that lead our actions guide our fate. You will ultimately choose to be upset over this. I don't mean that in a bad way either but I know I choose my own misery.

Going back for a sec...I concur with Keith. Once you show your true self, they get sick of you. When you run out of use to the woman, she'll move on. And you wonder why Arabs have the right to burn their wives alive, huh? Because older cultures KNEW that women were EVIL! ^_~ WAH!!! That's horrible!
Keith's Open Journal, or Window Shopping Inside a Confused Mind

Welcome to Keith's Open Journal. You can call it KOJ. I know I will. Here's where you get a glimpse into whatever's festering inside my head at the moment. Ask questions and make comments. Be an armchair psychologist. Be prepared, though: The journal's not logical or organized, but it's honest.

Now put on your swimming trunks and grab that trident over there, 'cause we're going in...

I swear to you that I am my own worst enemy. I feel like I’m fucking up my life left and right as I try to figure it out. It's as though everytime I think I'm digging myself out of a hole (to use a hackneyed analogy), I end up digging deeper without realizing it. I stand and survey the land around me, only to myself a few feet farther below sea level.

People like to play games...mind games. Apparently, I suck at these games. I suck at knowing when the game's being played, and I suck at playing the game myself. There's this woman at work who does this to me, and she's TREMENDOUS at it. Drives me absolutely bananas. The whole key is to not let it bother me, to remain aloof and unaffected. This is one of those switches I'd like to turn off: the one that reads "CURIOSITY." It's actually a single-throw double-pole switch attached to one that reads "DESIRE." She flips it on with something called FLIRTING and keeps it locked in the ON position using something called TEASING. She teases by acting uninterested most of the time, occasionally sending mixed signals: "I miss you." She wants attention, nothing more, and I know it. I want her, and she knows it.

So now I'm in the middle of this game with her, I'm aware that I'm in the middle of this game, I'm trying to play it right back, and she's beating the crap out of me. Look at the scoreboard: 72 to 7. I feel like the Pats in Superbowl XX. I go into work saying to myself, "She won't get to me this time. I'll ignore her. She's not even there." Then that day turns out to be one of the worst. She says "Hi" to me. What does that mean? "Uh, Keith? That's a way of greeting people. That's all." Right. C'mon, man. Snap out of it! Think about something else...anything. You ARE at work, so do your job.

This has been going on for a while now. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of having emotions. I'm sick of people playing into them. I think I'll get some water.
You hit the nail on the head, Sully: You give someone your heart, you make yourself vulnerable, and she takes advantage of it. WTF??? Over time, I go closer and closer to my wife, turning from Two to One...or so I thought. I let her in on my dark secrets, my idiosyncrasies, my silly hopes and fears. I shed any veneer of false confidence I may have donned.

This is the person with whom I'm supposed to be my complete and true self, and somehow this ultimately turned her away from me and toward another mate. Again: WTF??? My true self -- fears, anxieties, and all -- was a turn-off. So what have I learned? To distrust. To close up. To put on a face. To be some fictitious shadow of myself.

Thanks, J.

I've since learned independence as well. What was a cold and lonely place is now my bachelor pad, and it's nice. It's home to me and my son. I guess the newly learned independence is a point of growth.
Hot Dog said, "I assume... y'all mean the notion that men and women test each other for the purpose of determining an ideal mate. " While I certainly think there's validity in this, in my book there is and has ever been only one true test of a good mate: mutual love. I don't mean pledged commitment, prolonged lustiness, trust, challenge, compromise, or compatable interests. While these things are all good and even necessary to a good relationship, I think the real litmus test for me, as a guy who's basicly independant by habit and preference, is whether I persist in prefering to sacrifice that independance for her continuing companionship. Generally speaking, I do not.

After lots of first dates who never got a call again, several short-term girlfriends with whom I tested the "learn to love someone" theory, and watching the havoc wreaked upon my friends by failed attempts at making a relationship work with what were clearly the wrong women, I'm pretty thoroughly soured to the idea of getting to know someone by going out with them and falling in love. Of course after some pretty extensive travelling, a whopper of a social calendar, and a suitcase full of interests and hobbies, I've met more than my share of women of all sorts.

Though I've had a fair number of crushes, I can count on one hand the number of those women whom I'd consider potentially compatable as a mate. Of course two of them are engaged now, so I don't really even need a whole hand, but my point is that I don't think the odds are good of dating strangers leading me to anything better than settling or causing heartache, neither of which I want. Unfortunately, being honest about my feelings with the women I've truely had them for has been less than fruitful as well, which sort of leaves me at an impass vis-a-vis finding an "ideal" mate (I wouldn't want any other kind).

Oh well, as the budda taught, life is suffering, and suffering comes from desire. Through the surrender of the self it said that it is possible to divorce oneself from desire, but c'mon... finding a good woman should be easier than finding enlightenment, right? What a fuckin' world.

Ahhh...the "OFF" switch comes with Death, Mein Herr.

Emotions...what is true, what is conditioned? Are we prisoners of our hearts or of our faliures? Can we get over the past if we can't get over our now? Hmmmm...

I'm addicted to love. Who isn't. Like Ewan said in Moulin Rouge...love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing!
If you're addicted to love are you also by default addicted to hate and to pain; the polar opposites of love and contentment?

No...you do not have to take the good with the bad. There really is no good or bad. There is only interpretation by the One, the Individual who judges what is fair or unfair. There is one thing though that is Universal and that is Saddness. Duhka as the Buddha defined it. Recognizing saddness is essential for attempting to "get over it". Eliminating saddness is tough with all these emotions. Does one need to become a heartless stoic in order to survive the Human Condition? I say nay.

I think it very on-topic. It figures in. We are both good men dissed by heartless women. It's true.

It's not about giving up hope or emotions...it's about giving up on saddness. Which is the toughest thing. You cannot deny yourself your emotions. It's impossible unless you're lobotomized. Even then you'd probably still laugh a farts...humor and enjoyment are emotions or the result of having emotions.

Am I over it...are you. No we aren't. We won't be for a while. We can only cry on our Shrinks and bitch to our Friends but then when we go home to our empty beds and messy rooms...in the Small Hours of the morning does it hit home literally. It is the cost of giving your heart to another. You give them this immense power. You give them your heart and you kindly ask that they treat it fairly and do not break it. I figured out a while ago that my heart would be broken regardless...either by choice, mine or hers, or by death. Someone was destined to get a broken heart everytime to say "I love you" to a potential mate.

What good is it to bemoan the passing of love...does the Other care? I say no...they don't care.

But do you need the love of a woman to live? I say it is the icing on the cake of life the love of a good woman. But the haunting memory of the love of a bad woman sours hope for the next bus. Am I rambling? I hope this makes sense to those with hearts for eardrums...I'm talking to you.

Regret is the most probable product of risk. Contentment is the other product but only for those who have the gullet to stand the heart crushing, soul rendering, mind blasting, ball cutting, dick shriveling effect of the love of a Bad Woman.

Please...go on with the thoughts about this. I find this fascinating. pain in a Petrie dish...see what kind of spores we culture to make a better anti-biotic for the Next One.
Off-topic post...

Emotions are drugs, but they have different names. Instead, they’re called things like anger, regret, love, sadness, lust, joy and fear. Emotions are fucking bullshit drugs because if you’re addicted there’s no recovery plan. There’s no fucking twelve-step program; you can’t quit them. Like regular drugs, some people have a predisposition to addiction. The problem is, you’ve got emotion in you no matter what; you can't avoid it the way you can avoid the bottle or the needle, and if you’re an addict then you’re fucked, plain and simple. Plain and simple.

I know what you're going to say: "You need to take the good with the bad. If you don't have anger then you can't have love. Etc." But what if ALL you have is anger, regret, etc.?

Where's the OFF switch? Find me the OFF switch.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

There is such thing as compromise. Compromise is a necessary tool in maintaining social order in all relationships. Keeping in context of the subject matter, I think too much reliance is placed on compromise and not enough in compliance in some personal relationships. What I mean from this is far from misogyny or dominating. My personal experience is that I would comply with the wishes of the other. If it made me uncomfortable I’d voice an opinion but if I had no real problem with it, I’d go along for the ride and comply. But when is OK to assume that every time one has an idea to do something it becomes a committee decision? It doesn’t.
I think there’s an angle to do with the “obey” line in old wedding vows. Sure it’s politically incorrect to even condone a “bass-awckwards” concept such as this but you know what…I’d obey my wife if she told me to do something. Hey…pay the bills! Yes dear. ^_~ Hey...bring out the trash on your way out! Yes dear! ^_~ It’s that simple. Sometimes you do have to do what your told to do. Of course this runs across the grain of all independent thought but it’s not in a domineering sense…more of a leadership sense. If I can “obey” my mate, what’s is the problem of them obeying me? Nothing but the twisted and insecure Western Post-Pill Feminism.
When in a relationship, one must concede to the other all the time. And it’s not always negative…far from it. There’s letting them in the bathroom first, standing to the side in the hallway, stepping back in the kitchen when they’re passing by, etc & et al. Independence kills relationships. Independence is about The One. When you’re in a relationship, it’s about The Two. Interdependence must replace independence. Giving up identity and power is unnecessary. There is no ego struggle when it’s not a problem in the first place but a couple than cannot inter-depend will either co-depend or let their independence break the relationship up from within.

Pizza Slut. I can see that it’s a cool tee-shirt. With a parody logo. On a sixteen-year old??? Whatever!!! Who else is gonna wear that? ^_~ A 300-pound fat man? It might be more appropriate for him to wear that than a 16 year old, 96 lbs waif. Sex is glorified, demonized, deified, homogenized, pasteurized, packaged, sold, bought, bartered, traded, brokered and stolen. All for the masses to make more of the masses. Masses and their asses. Tee hee.

Monday, July 21, 2003

Okay, back to the "ideal mate" theory...

I assume by this y'all mean the notion that men and women test each other for the purpose of determining an ideal mate. Yeah, I think that happens on various levels, conscious and unconscious. People like a challenge: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, whatever; it's what we want. So we don't want partners who will simply roll over for us. Yes, there are relationships out there in which one party is completely dominant while the other is submissive, but I doubt that those relationships have any chance at lasting happiness. (Remember that I'm making blanket statements here; I realize that exceptions exist.)

I know that I don't want to have a deep, lasting relationship with some concubine. If I want to get off at my whim, maybe, but that gets old (not speaking from experience here). I'd rather be with someone who is strong and knows what she wants; and if it's me she desires, all the better. I don't want someone who's pathetic and needy, but I do want someone who respects me and whom I can respect on her own merits.

Sully, you said that "when there is a difference of opinion, one must concede to the other." Why? I disagree. That's not a hard and fast rule. There's such a thing as compromise, and more often than not that's the better way to go in terms of strengthening a relationship. Those who are most likely to survive won't press and press inflexibly upon another; they adapt to the current conditions. This doesn't mean that you can't flex your muscles, though. Being assertive is important because you want what you want and you know your own needs better than anyone else. And you don't need someone to follow your rules in order for the assertiveness to become attractive. If you do that, you're reliant upon something external to yourself. Do what you want and live your life in a way that's self-fulfilling and respectful to others, and people will be drawn to it one way or another. It shows a certain zest for life and incites confidence all around.

The flip side is that some people just aren't meant to be together, period. Ain't nuttin' you can do about it. So you move on and live your life and gather people and experience as you go.
Donde estas Juan Barnos?
And that's just thinking out loud too, Matt. I'm not sure if my caravan has officially imploded yet and have mentioned nothing to Keri about this. Just thought about it after reading your post. Typing out loud one can say. ^_~
Ahhh...Scorpio Nature. I have more respect for the personality traits that Astrology illuminates than the Holy Bible.
The astrological advice is older than pschoanalysis and it's tenets of personality types. Astrology and Sun Signs are another interpretation of personality types. I give it only so much creedence. My Natal Reading was too balls on accurrate to be attributed to sheer chance. Daily newspaper horoscopes IMHO are generalizations. I don't wholeheartedly believe in Astrology...most of it is Divination. But there is something about it. Something real and true.
I don't use my Scorpio Nature to justify a bad attitude but it does make sense to me and to others when they know I am a Scorpio and exhibits the common traits of one.


I understand that a woman generally seeks confidence in a man as an attractive quality. But how about when that male confidence is usurped by the New Western Male Paradigm. I mean a “real” man should be confident and assertive. But that runs across the grain of the Independent Woman. How can one be assertive while respecting the woman’s independence? Easy…either the woman can fall in line or they don’t. It’s their choice. As I’ve said women are not reared to respect men. In the past, women were taught to fear men which doesn’t necessarily equal respect but there are shades of it in there. I came up with a good axiom regarding a relationship: there can be no such thing as a two-person democracy. Really think about this. When there is a difference of opinion, one must concede to the other. There is no majority overrule. One must lead, the other must follow. It’s been my experience that women who are not reared to respect men will take the assertiveness as “telling them what to do”. I had this problem in my last relationship (what problem didn’t I have ^_~). I was busted on at my Exit Interview for not being assertive enough but I countered with “you don’t listen to me anyway”. How can I be assertive and make decisions when she would not abide with the decision I made? That also took away from my confidence and self-worth. Therefore deepening the Catch-22 we were in.
So the Western Paradigm of Female Independence I feel needs to be shipped off to sensitivity training classes. ^_^
Careful with that "scorpio nature" thing Sully... take it too much to heart and it'll get you in trouble. I wouldn't want to see you encouraging yourself to be short-tempered, or using your date of birth as an excuse for bad behavior.

I hope all goes well with your plans... funny how easily people make a simple trip into a huge fuckin' fiasco when you give them the chance. My IT plans are still in flux as well, having changed from me, Tracey, and Julie going up together to Julie wanting to bring her new boyfriend, and me having told Melissa we had room now that she had a breakup, and there not being enough room, and Tracey doesn't want to leave early and overnight in Skowhegan, and Julie has to leave sunday for work, etc...

Fuck it. I think I'll just drive up early with Melissa and the rest of the gang can meet us there. Much easier that way.
Unrelated but Important.

Unbeknownst to most of the Ocho Group...another Blog has surfaced and it's a Private Club...well it's only for making plans to go to Phish's IT at the end of the month. But things got a little ugly, tempers flared and yours truly Mr. Scorpio Natue mouthed off to a friend of his in a hardcore, uncool way. What was the biggest thing for me is that I did it in a crowed room on a Blog. Not in private. So...to Keith...the Hot Dog who posts here too and to whom I hope will continue to post here at Ocho I'm reprinting my apology to him here. I want Keith to post here. I want to be Keith's friend if he'll still have me. And I want him to chime in on Kiwi's subject (a good subject IMHO) I think it needs more voice and contribution to it.

An email to Keith (also posted on the "Six Of Us At Phish IT Blog"):

Keith,

I am very sorry for giving you the riot act in public like that. I struggle with ideas of fairness, understanding and things of the such and I wasn't very fair or understanding to you. I was very pissed off. Everything in our vacation plans seem to be spiraling out of control; people threatening to drop, people not getting along and then this "bombshell". It was a bit much and it was very wrong of me to accuse you of hiding behind Noah. That wasn't cool to do. I understand that I don't understand about a dad and his son especially in the situation you got now. What I did was reflexive and just thoughtless to do to a friend.
I'm posting this on the Blogs too. If I can yell at you in public I can apologize to you in public too. I don't think you caused animosity. I think I caused animosity by being all pissy like that. Thank you for having the wisdom, foresight and generosity to say "I'm explaining all of this to you in the hopes that it will help you to simmer down a bit and realize this is not a tactic" in your last post. Hopefully I haven't burned any bridges with you. And I hope you'll still want to hang and jam and all that hoooplah. But again...I'm sorry I was so tough on you.

Eric
Yeah Kiwi...I've been sitting here...waiting! ^_~
Hi!

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Why? Too young and dumb to know better.

I don't so much know about one night stands being encouraged, but I don't think they still pack the scarlet letter taboo punch of the past anymore. It seems acceptable now, if desirable outlets for monogamy are unavailable, to quench one's longings with whatever suitable company avails itself. Not at all fulfilling, and IMHO much less desirable than monogamy with a worthy partner, but certainly much better than monogamy with an undesireable partner. Hey, masturbation gets old.

Yes, what about the ideal mate theory?

I look forward to the completion of your thought kiwi.
I went to the mall yesterday... saw a girl with the pizza hut loo on her shirt except it had been changed to Pizza slut. She was well endowed and the shirt was about two sizes too small. She could have been maybe 16 years old. WHY? WHY? WHY?

I will finish my other thought - for now Im running late.... sorry boys.

I would live to hear Hot Dog elaborate a little on the ideal mate theory - escpecially in a society where one night stands are also encouraged. I think as a whole morals have been drop kicked for a more sodom and gomorrah type approach to living society. And it seems to be spiralling fast!

Friday, July 18, 2003

Author Neil Postman talked in on of his books how society today is like that of the "midevil era" Back then life expectancy was maybe at most 40 years of age. Therefore boys once they reached the age of 8 were expected to be men. Tend the farm the way their fathers did and perpar to begin a family. Females spent a life of servitude and once their bodies were of 'ripe' age they were expected to produce children. Even if they were 8 years of age.

Today however - our life expectancy is rising. At last check it had moved from 70/75 to more like 80/85. (I could also now bring in the baby boomer dilemma, but I wont.) Our children are able to access any information they want, via TV, internet, libraries, school playgrounds. My cousin at age 7 told me a story about how he had been dry humping with his 'girlfriend' behind the school shed one day - on school grounds during school hours. I was a little disturbed. Innocence has been lost. Childhood irradicated.

Sully made my point earlier in saying that the equality of men and women in society is balancing (for the first time EVER! - except for maybe the Amazon community - but don't quote me) the converse lesson of respect and curteousy are not. Women have spent millenia being the lesser being. And although this may shock many - I can see why its been like that for so long.

I really appreciate having the ability and choice to do anything I want with my life. Hell, I can be a firefighter if I want, however I am now also subject to choices that women are only in the past 100 years coming to grips with. And frankly I think we feel a little like fish out of water.

Argh - I am being interupted -- more later.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

Kiwi mentioned "fairness" to me and the old adages that the gist of it meaning that life isn't fair.

I disagree.

I said this:
Fairness in the face of Nature is irrelevant.
Fairness in regards to pets and rocks is irrelevant.
Fairness in regards to other people is relevant.
Fairness in reagrds to friends and the people in your
life is neccessary...or it proves that they're not a
good person regardless of how they appear. Fairness
is a choice. Humans possess choice. Chosing to be
fair or unfair is a human thing. Fairness can only be
attributed to our species. It's akin so saying a
barbaric act is "inhuman"...only humans can pull off
atrocities so instead of "inhuman" those acts are very
human.

So Life is neither fair or unfair...people on the other hand are not. People choose fairness...or don't choose it.

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

"I will turn your face to alabaster when you find your servant is your master."
Hmmmm…culture, hard-wired sexuality, inculcation…I wonder do the blind lust as wantonly as the sighted sometimes with the influx of info we’re subjected to on the subject.

I think there is a systematic castration of Western men and a fortification of women in the post-feminist/post-pill Western world. As men are getting more sensitive, women are regaining their independence. But this independence, which is financial, emotional and social IMHO messes with a natural order. Not in a dominance role mind you but there are two genders with hormones that guide paradigms. Men and women are different creatures…cut from the same cloth but still different. Wired differently, motivated differently, pee differently. Equality is an ideological concept while true, harsh and cruel Nature knows better. Independence is not wrong! But the Western woman’s interpretation of it has something lacking.

“Back in the Day” women were basically subjugated by culture and role in most societies on a Global level. Basically left to the tender mercies of first their father and then their husband and finally their children with little to no legal rights and/or voice to be heard. Other cultures are now judged as backwards and decried as misogynistic when viewed from the Western POV looking out.

I’ve made romantic mistakes growing up…who hasn’t. I’ve broken a few hearts. But that was kid-stuff compared to what Fate had lined up for me. Maybe it was Karma for the broken hearts of my youth. But whatever it was, the woman in my life completely lost perspective of the issues of sensitivity and kindness and basically took the old man role. I do what I want and screw you. You have no power over me. Now I was raised to respect women, to never hit a woman, to be kind to women, open doors, to be genteel. Women today are not being taught the converse lesson; to have the same respect for their men, to be decent, to be kind. No no no…empowerment and independence mean you must be a bitch in the face of adversity because it’s the only way you will survive, Little Red Riding Hood. That when your man runs out of use for you not only are you not obligated to stay with him but you can be as rude, mean and callow as you want. So being an adult in a relationship means you have more leeway to be a complete bitch/bastard than when you were a kid. So Modern Feminine Empowerment is a bit transparent because it gave women their power but no instruction on how to use it.

Power is an interesting sub-plot in this…it might just be the rasion d’etre here. So I was not looking for power over my last girlfriend. I was looking for her to be something she wouldn’t…but I still was not looking for power over this person. I was looking for interdependence. I’m a product of my culture and my upbringing. I was raised by women to be good to and for women. And to tell the truth a boy needs a man in his life. I mean I’ve put up with enough bullshit from the women in my life because I was taught to tolerate.

But by nature I know that female nation is cruel breed. I am more convinced at that more in my life now than ever. I was raised by women, my closest friends are women but I know that I can never fully trust a woman again…never again like that. Maybe that’s because of not too much distance from the last relationship but I’ll always be like “so when you gonna cheat on me?” or “how are you going to try to change me?” or something of the such. There are reasons for the misogyny of the Bible and older cultures. Now I know. I still love women and want to spend the rest of my life with one I love and trust but I will never completely be at ease again. Why…because all women are crazy in someway and all will hurt you eventually. Women have the right to think this about men too BTW. It’s not a misogynist statement but a one-sided gender POV.

Well Western women…enjoy your power and abuse it. You’re no better than us men. It is true that the subjugated will become the slavemaster.
Men and women are hard wired in a certain way that transcends their evolution. We as humans may have become more refined, elegant, social beings through the millenia, but there is an undeniable predisposition that's written into the code of who we are as males and females. Males tend to be more aggressive, seeking out the fertility of females so that they may procreate their species, specifically to perpetuate their own blood line. Females seek out strong and healthy males to breed strong and healthy children. That manifests itself today in the following way. Men seek out well-proportioned and healthy women. (BTW, the standard by which "healthy" is measured changes from century to century; look at the paintings of nudes in past centuries -- goddesses of the rotund.) Women seek out men of strength of body and mind: powerful men who are confident and in control.

None of this is news.

In relationships, sexual or otherwise, people constantly test others for a variety of reasons. The sexual (or potentially sexual) tests boil down to this: "Are you my ideal mate?" We may tread on someone else's heart to test for weakness; we may do it as an internal ego boost; we may do it to weed out someone who doesn't fit our mold. I don't think this is specific to women, but it may come out differently since women look for Thing A in a man and men look for Thing B in a woman. It's easier for women to use sex as a weapon, since guys are ALL OVER the physical thing. Women want protection and security, so men use the cool confidence as a weapon: the dismissal of a woman because the man is an island.

So what's the deal with society's reaction to the woman sleeping with the ten-year-old? First off, I want to get this out of the way regarding the relationship: IT'S HORRIBLY WRONG! There. Now society expects predatory behavior on the part of a man and not a women. My take is that there's something amiss with the woman and society wants to help her right her wrongs. If it were a man and a girl, the man would be convicted to "eternal damnation" because that's the way men are and they can't be righted, only punished.

The force that punishes men as it does is the same force that constructs all manner of obstacles to be placed on the path of career minded women. Evolution is tough to bend.

Tuesday, July 15, 2003

I wait for Rev. Kiwi to open her mouth only to put her cute little foot in it. HA - and you would think I would be getting used to it by now....

But really kids - Sully and I were in a discussion off air re: monogomy, sexually sociable acceptable behaviour -- or perhaps simple put - why you should not treat people like shit! Especially in relationships. Like every other female I know, I admit to trodding on a couple of hearts in the past, and using and abusing my rights and perhaps my persuasive tact as a female being. To some instances I admit not being proud of my actions. In other cases I claim ignorance of the opposing party in which case they should have been less naive. Is this what makes us as a female nation cruel people. I would never take to such extremes other closely related people known within the group would and have perhaps but please I am interested. What defines the current cruelty of teh female person. Look at Christina Aguwhatevathefuckhernameis.... she uses sex tot he nth degree, and for soem reason, although her act is obvious and offensive to most self aware women on the planet, men boogle at her with tongues hitting the ground. And I KNOW you all watch that video! Don't kid yourselves!

Secondly, in a related topic and here I haven't quite made the link yet... but in recent kiwi news a woman was jailed for 4 years following "sexual intercourse and other acts" with a 10 year old boy. It struck me that in a 20/20 interview with this boys father he freely addmitted that if his child had been a girl he would have been out for blood of the teacher who commited this crime. However, instead in this case he simple seeks forgiveness and acceptance between himself, his son, and the perpertrator and her family. Weird - I thought, what dictates this view and distorted perception even today in an 'equalitized' society. (Not sure if that's a word). Why does the female perpertrator recieve forgivness and acceptance and the male eternal damnation and scorn. Also - why does the female victim receive pity and eternal cooing and petting, while the boy gets a slap on the back and a comment like "oh well, good on ya son". I DONT GET IT!

On one hand females are still percieved as these innocent sheep who need nurturing and protection. On the other, they have evolved into (in the past 2 decades) a whore driven society that has far to much power and maniupulative power over men, and we freely abuse it. In fact in the current culture I get the impression I am being encouraged to abuse this power....

Is it just me or what... I look foward to your insights.
K1W1
Welcome to...Rev. Kiwi speaks her mind.

A new talk show brought to you by the letter A and the number Pi.

This weeks subject is...MISOGYNY or is the Bible right in portraying all women as harlots. ^_~

I wait for Rev. Kiwi to open her mouth only to put her cute little foot in it. WAH!!! Just kidding Leah.

MWAH!!! ^_~
With that bum...^_^ ^_^ ^_^
Tee hee!!!
gonna show off your downhill bum-slide? What guy wouldn't be impressed by that? :)

Monday, July 14, 2003

Friday, July 11, 2003

SKIWI!!! ^_~
wah!!! WAH!!!
CRACKEDKIWI UPDATE - brought to you by the letter q.

I passed another paper at Uni today... and I only made two of my patients worse this block (in the last week). Learnt loads, had a good educator and was told by one of my patients that my massage is as good as Chinese therapy - huzzah! Now I just have Neuro to go - with a very eccentric educator whom I have already sucked up plenty too, or at enough to make the last one a breeze (out at the same clinic as this last one).

My next couple of weeks were empty of committment but in the past two days my old boss at Middlemore has been trying to contact me. They want me to help out while I've got time off... I was the first they called... how cool is that? I really need to remember to get testimonials from them before they quit and move on. Looks likes like it's coming together... hopefully it means I can get into a job early, pay off my debt quickly and get stuck into travelling again. Well, so long as life doesn't get in the way.

As many of you know I was also thinking of attempting a trip home at the end of this year... and while I am still considering that as an option over the summer I potentially also have the option to do some research (thereby completing a paper I would have had to do later next year, and perhaps spend some time travelling around kiwiland. I would love to make it home, but realistically and finacially I don't at this stage know how viable it is going to be.

Things with Chris are going swimmingly, things have been a little quiet over the past two weeks while my placement has been a little stressful. We have plans to go away skiing (along with a bunch of his friends) for 3-4 days. The weather here is producing plenty of snow (ie - it's fucking cold!!!) and it should be a good time had by all.

Amber has recently had her head turned by a Rugby head type. She is tentitively following her hormones into a path of self destruction, but he's cute enough to be a respectable mistake. I'm encouraging it. After 5 years with the same person from age 15-20 I think she realy needs it. Send her good mojo vibes boys... help out a friend in need!

Anyway - this is your friendly flightless fowl signing off...

K1W1

Thursday, July 10, 2003

The Leek has moved to its own Blog

http://theleek.blogspot.com/

It's all the old ones you've seen here but newer ones will be made up as soon as I find time to shirk.
^_~
HALLELULLAH!!! sp

I've been trying to get into Blogger now for weeks! Since they changed the formatting page. Shit. I have not been able to log into my own frickin' Blog. Damn!

How y'all dune?

Wednesday, July 09, 2003

GRATS on the lobsters!~! So that's where you've been!~! I was wonderin' why you haven't asked for a rematch in mini-golf!

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Just picked up a sweet temporary warehouse job that's part time with a flexible schedule and doesn't disqualify me from being eligible for the 13 week unemployment extension I just got. Between that and having discovered the secret underwater hideout for huge lobsters and flounder on one of the four dives I've been on since sunday, it's shaping up to be a pretty good week!

What's up with y'all?

Monday, July 07, 2003

I went up to Vermont to spend the weekend camping on the White River behind my friend Bow's store. About 20 of us went up, though I think the only person you'd know Kiwi is Shayne's roommate Janelle, whom you met after underwater monopoly when you were around last. Several of the folks there were bluegrass musicians (from The Benders, JABE, Old 33, and several other good local bands), and we all went down to the old swimmin' hole on the river for a little pickin' and strummin along with beer, jumping off cliffs into the river, and of course swimming. We arrived to find about 6 other groups of 3 or more people had similar plans, including 1 group with a campsite right across the way... within easy beer can lobbing distance for those thirsty and lazy swimmers.
Lots of folks brought dogs also, and while it was the first time some of them tried swimming, others were well used to it, including one chocolate lab that liked jumping off the 30' cliff after his master.

No fireworks, but definately a good time.

Good luck with the rest of the work week Kiwi... any big plans for the time off?

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Any fourth of July stories?

PS GO the SOX! (I got to watch the 4th game on TV @ work! First one all year...)
Matt-That's excellent!

One week of placement left and then six weeks off! And I didn't even kill anyone! Yay me.
Go to www.google.com. Type in weapons of
mass destruction (no quotes) and click on "I'm feeling Lucky" bar.
Read the error page.

Friday, July 04, 2003

Happy 4th of July everyone!~!~! Remember if you drink don't drive......and if you drive don't drink!~! I don't have yer bail money OK so be responsable and keep it safe.

Thursday, July 03, 2003

The new Sinbad animated movie was pretty entertaining. I went to that to kill time while waiting for some folks after my NOAA checkout dive yesterday.